Life and its lessons (8)
Life and its lessons (8)
Expectations: Hope but don’t expect. The truth is, an agreement is when both sides know about each other’s expectations and somewhat agree to fulfill it. Most of our expectations are one sided and we are almost always going to fail and get hurt due to them. My lesson; hope but don’t always expect. Set realistic expectations and try to communicate them; above all set expectations for yourself too (what do I do? how do I behave? How to contribute?). Some of our unfulfilled expectations turn out as hard lesson to learn practically; a lesson that remains. And this quote by Maya Angelou sums up my lessons on this from the past years - “I did then what I knew how to do; now that I know better, I do better”.
Power: So many status’s and hierarchies - Above-below, Higher-Lower, Field-Headquarters, North-South, colour, race, gender ….…. What do we understand by power, what is its implications and how is it played through our lives. Many of us consciously or unconsciously give away power and also use power wrongly. Our vocabulary is filled with “I am sorry – instead of I respectfully disagree”, “higher up there – instead of XYZ office” “I will wait for instead of these are some of my ideas” and many more. My lesson, Power is Powerful, and it’s not easily given. Let’s not create more imbalances in our relationships, communities and the world through our words and actions. Let’s be aware and learn to reflect on our own power and ask, “am I intimidating”, “how can I give space”. Let’s choose to support each other in owning power and giving power wisely. "Learn to accept an apology you never received"
Compliments and insults: If we choose to listen to our surroundings and what people say- you will surely see different dynamics which have recently thought me some lessons. Some think they are giving me the best of compliments but in reality, according to me is insulting and when they think they are knowingly insulting me I feel proud and complimented for what they are insulting me for. Sometimes the same groups will praise you and insult you for the same character at different times. My lesson; be and set your standards. People go with their individual flow, interests and moods which can change from time to time. Don’t be swayed by their words and actions. Know what you want to “stand” for and who you are “striving” to become. Continue to cross check and test your standards and aspirations from time to time as well.
Inspirations: “If there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm.” – African ProverbIt’s a very simple concept but hard to implement. We win when we have won our inner battles – the rest become easy to manage.
Yaa Rabb, give us the strength to tackle and overcome our enemies within.Until next time Insha’Allah – Cya